i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
