we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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