im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
