haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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