Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize