it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
