doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
