glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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