Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
