Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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