He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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