smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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