Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
