I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
