Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
