Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
