is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
