He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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