She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
