if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just forgot I was standing up.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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