The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
