1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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