Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
