Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
