dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
