Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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