dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
