I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
