if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
