she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
how does that bad decision feel?
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