Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
