i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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