I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
