FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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