apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize