how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
