I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
