i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
