Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
