dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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