She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just googled if crying burns calories
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
