If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
