Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
