Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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