I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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