I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
