He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
