The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
