hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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