my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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