New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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