I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
