i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
