all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
