guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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