erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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