if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
this will be a night to untag.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
