Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have fence marks all over my body
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize