Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
