I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
