Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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